Thought for the day: Change of ways

I will be the first to admit that I have issues when it comes to relationships. Especially relationships regarding the opposite sex.

I trust too easily, but at the same time I don’t trust enough to let my guard down.

I do everything in my power to not allow myself to get emotionally attached so that I don’t have to worry about getting hurt if another man in my life lets me down.

I really am one of those girls who are just good at being single.

At the moment, it has been a year and a half since I have dated anyone, and I know eventually that will change.

But the thought of allowing myself to let someone, who is not considered “safe” for me, inside and give them even the slightest power to hurt me…scares the hell out of me.

I am learning the differences between what I thought I needed in a relationship…and what I truly need.

I am seeing that pushing myself out of my comfort zone and being a little vulnerable is not necessarily a bad thing.

That feeling of being nervous and excited all at once about what will happen next. I think that is a normal feeling…which eventually I will get use to I suppose?

Letting myself be in a position to love and fail…or love and succeed… is some what new to me because I am really trying to give this whole dating thing a real shot.

I suppose this is me growing up a little bit? And realising that just because my past has hurt me…does not mean it will repeat itself forever.

So, we will see where this leads. We will see if I can break this habit I have of distrusting and keeping my guard up.

Only time will tell….and I think my future will be happy with my grown up decisions.

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